Orultseg: The Only Choice
Sometimes madness is the only way out. Difficult to understand, to perceive, to control, it can give meaning to what does not always have any. In some it brings a smile, it gives purpose, and in an instant it lets a rainbow pass through the dark clouds of life.
Besberra, Cegul sector, outer rim, -3659 ABY.
- Part 1 : Joy -
There is in this universe, a place where everyone can feel at home. A utopian world that can be called "nest", "home", "home". A magnificent place, where beauty, mistress of the place, has long flanked its antonym at the door, and where calm, reigning like a king, has buried war under its roots for generations. This place can be anywhere, but for little Orultseg, this place was Besberra.
" Happy birthday to Orultseg ! »
Under the small crowd of cheers, the many laughs and the festive music, Kiarda made her way to her happy friend of eight years. While the grown-ups were already starting to drink and gossip loudly, the little girl in the midnight-blue dress offered her present with the most beautiful of smiles. Orultseg put down his glass and received from him a small pile of paper letters, folded and individually sealed with a small pink heart made of Joq straw. Most of the children in the colony had taken the time to write him a few words. Only Kiarda could come up with such an idea. No sooner had she stepped back than Orultseg was already jumping into her arms. Her best friend knew it didn't take much to please her, and that the love in those letters was more than she could dare ask for. She knew her so well.
The adults quickly began to sing under the influence of the drinks, and a ball was improvised at the end of the meal. Orultseg was able to dance with everyone, even with Zerelem, a teenage Zabrak she may have fallen in love with. At least that was what Q'polghis and Dyphax were teasing her loud and clear. When night had long fallen, and the songs of men like birds turned to small snores, Orultseg stayed awake to read his letters. His tent was the only one lit in the darkness. Just as she was about to open her first letter, that of Zerelem, Kiarda entered without warning.
" You liked the party ? »
" Oh yes ! Thank you, thank you for everything ! I could never have dreamed of such a perfect party ! And... thank you also for the letters, I was about to read them, precisely. said the little girl with the round face and dark amber eyes.
Kiarda crawled onto Orultseg's quilt and settled down beside him without asking. With a quick gesture, she seized the letter from the zabrak, and opened it, avoiding her best friend's great panicked gestures.
" Dear Orul, I wish you a happy birthday, and lots of luck. It's cool to be shy, and I sense you're a little shy towards me. I hope I'm not scaring you, and maybe one day we'll talk a little more. I'm not good with words so good night, and see you soon maybe. Your neighbor among many others. Zerelem. »
Orultseg blushed and looked at his friend strangely. He wrote that ? It's true ?
" Looks like he likes you, say ! You'll introduce him to me one of these days, lucky lady... Don't mind if I add a little competition. joked Kiarda, shaking her shoulder.
" In your dreams ! She replied before gently shoving her cushion into his cheek.
The night was long. Kiarda stayed a good hour reading by his side, before going to join his own tent. Orultseg did not sleep all night. She carefully peeled back each letter. That of Kiarda, that of Dyphax, of Weleend, of Q'polghis, of Ajjamer, of the Vykossin twins, of Toll, Nash, Ulneer, Kipoti, of the noisy little Pelunia who cried all the time, and even of the mysterious and noctivague Nibyljuun, whom she was the only one to know. In all she must have had about thirty letters in her hands, and there weren't even about forty children in the colony. What a beautiful proof of love in a community.
The colony was decidedly a utopian place. A group of multicolored tents in the middle of a verdant meadow that overlooked the sunny sea on one side, the radiant hills on the other. But above all, constant contact, supportive and resourceful siblings. Of course there were certain rules. It was customary that everyone had to fend for food and water, but there were plenty of berries, fruit trees, or streams inhabited by silverfish and delicacy shellfish, to satisfy themselves easily. and quickly. Everything else the colony could afford. The grown-ups took care of the complicated tasks, the children, most of them Orultseg's age, took care of the eternal atmosphere of joy. How lucky she was to have been brought up here, where the world was peaceful.
- Part 2 : Fear -
When an event, a piece of news, or even a simple thought upsets a person, freezes their heart for a few seconds, stirs their stomach like a hurricane shakes the ocean, and makes every hair on their arms and back stand on end, in general it is better to start running, for lack of knowing the end of the story. In one case, it ends in death, rupture, betrayal or indifference. In the other, it is fear, infinitely simpler and useful reflex for personal survival.
Orultseg had friends who were very dear to him, and each had something special that made him unique in the colony. Kiarda was the sweetest, friendliest, and quickest of the children. Weleend could sing, and approached wild animals as few could, to talk to them and protect them more than to hunt them. Ulneer could read minds, or so he boasted. Däne, the Ardennes, climbed faster than everyone else, and thus harvested the highest fruits. Toll, him… well he was bad at just about everything. But he knew how to hide well during the games.
As for Dyphax, the apple-green twi'lek, and Q'polghis, a small, one-armed givin, their card-playing skills were yet to be tested against grown-ups...but their mischievousness, of course, that not so mean, defined them more.
Orultseg...was special in her own way.
On a windy day, when a storm was to approach, Orultseg hurried to collect a last basket of snoruuk, near Molar Peak. These mushrooms were perfect for a good soup in the evening. She was counting on inviting a few friends to her tent, by the way. Concentrated, she picked as quickly as possible.
" You want me to teach you to fly ? »
The little girl let out a sharp little cry, dropped the mushroom she was trying to pick, and fell on her basket. Since when did they speak these fungi ?
" How ?... she asked.
When she looked up, Dyphax was standing in front of her, one hand outstretched to help her. Behind him, Q'polghis raced to catch up with him, waving his one arm like a madman. She hadn't seen the twi'lek coming, and took his hand to get up.
" It was my uncle who taught me. You'll see, it's funny. Hein Q'polghis ? assured the boy, nudging his comrade.
" ...Yeah ! For sure !”
Orultseg didn't understand... Children like them couldn't fly. Besides, Dyphax didn't have an uncle. Facing her, the Twi'lek waited for an answer. As curious as she was naive, she accepted.
They led her to the edge of the precipice, which offered a view of the ocean and its raging storm in the distance...far away. Not very confident, she advanced slowly towards the void.
" And now ?... »
The twi'lek stopped muttering inaudible and seemingly amusing things to the givin, and silently approached the kid who was looking down. The gusts seemed to want to knock her down, hitting her back at random intervals. The danger didn't really seem to alert the little girl. Dyphax put a hand on Orultseg's shoulder, and he turned.
" Now... raise your arms. The rest I take care of... »
She ran.
With a quick gesture, the twi'lek then grabbed his wrists, and took a step forward. The child's little feet took off as promised, but the experience was nothing fun.
Panicked, as her toes brushed death fifty yards down the beach, Orultseg screamed in terror. Struggling like a wild animal, crying like a newborn baby, she nearly fell with Dyphax several times. Uncomfortable, Q'polghis abandoned them and raced back to camp.
" rest me ! REST ME ! Leave me alone ! AAAAAAAAH ! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! AAAAHAHAHGH ! NAAAAAAH ! »
Finally feeling, after several long seconds, that he was losing control of the situation and was in danger of killing her, the twi'lek backed away. But a final knee from the hysterical child hit him on the chin, and he fell backwards.
Orultseg slammed into him with all her weight, in tears, and without even giving the order to her muscles, she raised her fists in the air above her friend's wide eyes.
Many, when they see a scary insect, howl and run away. This is what fear considers logical as an answer. The feeling of being in danger, justified or not, drives the victim to escape the threat, like a bark rat fleeing a nexu.
Orultseg was terrified. A friend, with whom she shared so much affection, had just gambled with her life. She should have resented him. She couldn't. So, rather than run away from the danger, as she would have really liked, she began to attack him. Knocking, again and again, with all her might the young twi'lek to the ground, she screamed. Not with rage, but always with terror. Like an arachnophobic child being physically forced to crush a tarantula, her greatest wish was to get out of this nightmare. To leave his friend alone, to join Kiarda and the others.
She only got up once the unconscious and disfigured twi'lek, and brought him back to camp, before the storm took him.
- Part 3 : Anger -
There is a proverb, most likely coined on Besberra and not known to any other civilization, that says : "Let someone steal a dream from you, and they will have control of your nightmares." It's a fairly honest vision, which helps the people of the colony to exceed their limits and forbids them to give up. Most often this "someone" was more of an obstacle than a person. A tree too high, unfavorable fishing, a faster fox. The danger of this proverb is to turn it upside down, as Orultseg once did.
"If someone has control over your nightmares, they're stealing a dream from you..."
Orultseg had been awake for a good hour, in the middle of the night. Besberra having no moons, her nights were darker than the souls of most sith. His tent was the only light on the black meadow. Clenching her elbows in her sweaty hands, biting her lips and tilting an eyelid without realizing it, the young child allowed herself to be slowly devoured by the most ungrateful of demons. Jealousy.
In her sleeping mind, she had just learned that Sanaborr, a weequay, Zerelem's best friend, had married his zabrak love. The entire colony had attended the celebrations, and were happy for the new couple. In the dream, Orultseg was heartbroken, and no one seemed to notice. What was done was done. She couldn't change it, and had to accept it.
When she woke up, that deep sadness was gone. Oh no, she wasn't sad to have lost Zerelem...she was furious with Sanaborr.
For long hours, she thought only of him. Not to her, not to Zerelem. Him. This person, whom she had hardly ever spoken to before, a perfectly normal and most likely sympathetic young weequay, had become the devil incarnate for her. A thing, which had to die, and give way to him. An enemy to fight in an apocalyptic battle, guided by a simple, tragic and inescapable law of nature. Him or her.
This anger that manipulated her slightest sudden and uncontrolled movements, playing with her like a puppeteer, was gradually changing into deep hatred. For no real reason, a need for revenge, like a poison, seized her and transformed her into a monster. She pounded her fist on the floor, and stomped her heels over her duvet, over and over. The tension in her skull swelled her head, her body temperature soared and, exhausted, she let out a shrill scream. A pretty cry, long and shrill, like that of a capricious little girl.
The thought that she had probably just woken up the entire colony stunned her. She hadn't done it on purpose... She didn't want to see anyone storming into her house in a panic. She didn't want to be seen like that. She used to be Orultseg the Merry, that's all. She didn't want to be perceived as a bad person. Not in the eyes of his friends. Neither for Kiarda nor for the others. After what she had just done at Dyphax...
So she went back under her blanket, quickly, and pretended to be asleep, in case anyone came to see her.
But after long minutes of waiting... no one came. Had the storm weary them all ? Did she just scream ? At night, simple things are sometimes confused after the passage of time. Orultseg calmed down, and tried to go back to sleep, which she did in less than three minutes.
Some feelings are exaggerated, sometimes partially misunderstood, in children. She was able to forget her problem with a little time. If that turned out to be Zerelem's decision one day, what could she possibly do about it? ?
The next day, Orultseg, as disheveled as a wookiee is hairy, got up, yawned a big time, and opened the zipper of his tent. At first blinded by the strong daylight, she soon noticed the crowd standing outside, their backs to her. Very few murmured, the others remained silent.
As she pushed her way through the population, Orultseg saw what was keeping the camp awake. A trace of blood on the ground, a long red stain in the grass, which pointed towards the mountains. During the night, Sanaborr had been killed, and taken away by one of the wild beasts of the planet. A mother bear had attacked him to defend her baby, which had not survived the colony's response and which was going to serve as a meal for those closest to the deceased. One life against another...
Orultseg covered his eyes at the sight, and took refuge in the arms of Kiarda and Dyphax, who had already fully recovered him. The eight-year-old girl thought back to her dream. Who was she crying for right now ? For the weequay, or for the teddy bear ? The community had its answer. Orultseg had another...
All that anger she had just amassed during the night, all that hate...it was all still there. Invisible but deadly, like a ghost, this anger had not died with its enemy, even supposed. Whether he was her rival for real or only in a dream that she herself had imagined, it didn't change anything. She had suffered. And that was never going to change. The consequences of his actions were real ; whether or not his actions were so didn't matter. Such was his secret logic.
- Part 4 : Sadness -
Misfortune is a hunting tusk-cat. Discreet, silent but powerful, it waits in the grass for the perfect moment to pounce on its prey. When she has her back to him, when she is busy with something else, or close enough to him, all it takes is a leap for the mighty feline to have its fearsome fangs around the neck of its long-doomed victim. .
You never know when a tusk-cat is about to attack. We only guess when it is far too late. It's not the fault of the prey, or even the predator. It's the cruelty of chance, as well as the laws of nature and the universe... maybe fate if you believe in it.
What follows is not much different, because at the end of this game, after a tragic accident that no one could have foreseen, Orultseg, eight years old, child of Besberra, will lose everything she has ever loved.
The shot of a rusty old blaster roared into Orultseg's ears, and the next moment his friends lined up beside him began to run.
" leave ! Q'polghis said, lowering the weapon he held with his only arm.
The race had started, and Orultseg had missed the start. She drove off quickly and tried to catch up with the others, who were a few meters ahead of her.
The sun was bright that day. Kiarda and the others had decided it was the perfect afternoon to run in the lower prairie to the east. The track was a long straight to a stone well, where a wreath of woven grass had been placed for the winner. On the way, no obstacle : it was only a game of speed, endurance, and will.
" She will catch you guys ! Toll shouted with a laugh, getting passed by Orultseg. Toll was often the last in this game. He paused as he saw her pass Kipoti far ahead of him. " Go ahead Orultseg ! go on without me ! he encouraged her, already suffering from a cramp.
Some time later and a few meters further, the vivacious child passed Weleend, Phiboj, Däne, many others, then approached Dyphax.
" You're not supposed to beat me ! You have shorter legs ! the twi'lek grumbled, trying to speed up. He was overtaken, too. " No. No. Nope ! Nope !! he breathed without giving up, which made Orultseg smile toothily. Victory was almost his ! More than Kiarda, who was still in the lead.
" You won't beat me, darling ! sang her friend when she heard her coming like a madwoman behind her. " Not today anyway ! »
Such words were just a draft on the embers of his motivation. Orultseg was almost there. She wanted her crown ! More than a few meters...
Unfortunately, his concentration being focused on the objective, the child forgot his feet. She bumped her bare toes against a tiny hillock, which caused her to change course. In barely a second, his run swerved down a slope to the side of the intended track. Without stopping running, she only tried not to fall, the inclination was too strong to try anything else. Orultseg squealed in distress, tried to slow down, but his path was clear, his destiny was set, and when his little eyes finally left his feet, his head hit a tree.
Unfortunate. For happy little Orultseg, someone unhappy was simply someone who hadn't found a good way to be happy. Who was unhappy. Someone wrongly installed remains installed no matter what. It was therefore enough just to find the right pose, the right look, and we found joy.
When she woke up from the shock, long minutes later, Orultseg was quite happy. She was devastated.
Beneath her buttocks, the soft, green grass she had always known was nothing but volcanic ash and black sand. Her clothes, once silky and light, had turned to a gray rag, and the sky was not even visible behind the dark clouds of dust. His blood, dark and thick, escaped from his forehead, and flowed over his right eye. When she called her friends for help... no one answered.
Even after multiple attempts, after shouting and crying their names to all... Orultseg was alone.
And then, out of nowhere, an old memory flashed through his damaged mind. Perhaps even more vague, a flash, an impression, an idea...
The terrible vision of a child, barely a few years old, abandoned by her parents on a desolate planet, alone and on her own, because she was probably different... in her head...
His friends... his world... were they even... real ?
- Part 5 : Madness -
Jedi and Sith like to say that fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to pain. But before knowing fear, you have to live, you have to love : it simply takes joy. Then comes fear, which, stimulated in Orultseg, acts as anger against Dyphax. Anger turned to hatred against Sanaborr. And finally, the world became suffering. This is supposed to be the path to the dark side. But at the end of her journey, there was one last step left for the young girl from Besberra.
Sometimes madness is the only way out. Difficult to understand, to perceive, to control, it can give meaning to what does not always have any. In some it brings smiles, it gives purpose, and in an instant it lets a rainbow pass through the dark clouds of life.
Orultseg rejected the idea she had just seen. His fingernails, encrusted with dirt and blood, his parched skin, his wild hairstyle, all of this could not be real. Her parents had not abandoned her here. What kind of monster would do that ? No, she was from the colony, and that was it. Maybe a volcano had erupted while she was unconscious. Was she the last alive ? Everything was mixed up in his head. The world was starting to spin a little too fast. Faster and faster, with her in the center, holding her skull, closing her eyes and plugging her ears.
Kiarda... Weleend... Zerelem... Kipoti... Dyphax... Anyone ? Nobody ?!
Trembling all over her body, the young girl curled up on herself, nauseous. Her head, possessed, snapped in various random directions, as her eyes stared away. Then a strange, unseen force emanating from her broken mind dominated her. As if struck in the face, from all angles, Orultseg rose, frozen, and swayed like a tree harassed by a hurricane, her feet rooted in the ground.
who was she ? where was she ? Who did she know ? Where was the dream, and where was the real ?
Pity...
Tears streamed down her cheeks, mingling with the blood from her wound. His cries clenched his fists like only hate could. A shiver froze his spine as fear does so well. A laugh gradually escaped her quivering little mouth, mixing with strange cries. All emotions came to him, and saturated his thoughts. And everything accelerated. The rotation of her world around her, the vertigo, the invisible blows, the feelings.
Help...
Orultseg froze again. He was left with only one choice. She couldn't think about it for long in this state, but she was sure of it. It was the best thing to do. The only thing. The good thing.
With courage and strength, she broke the shackles her mind was inflicting on her body, and ran, as fast as she could, head first, straight for the old dead tree.
The shock, as painful and violent as it was, did not put her to sleep, but propelled her back again, straight to the ground. She only opened her eyes when her body, light and clean, hit the soft grass of the Besberra meadow like a feather on moss.
Above his eyes, the blue sky and the birds greeted him again. She could finally hear the soft hum of the beach to the south. To feel the breath of nature on her skin, and the breath of flowers at the end of her little nose.
" Orultseg ! cried Kiarda, rushing from the top of the slope.
The young girl ran up and slid on the grass to reach her friend's side, still lying in the grass. When she got closer, Orultseg stood up and hugged her, so tightly.
" Woh...are you okay ? You have a nasty bruise on your forehead... »
" I was so scared, Kiarda... So scared... I thought I had lost you all... Orultseg whimpered in his ear, hugging the warm, reassuring neck tighter.
She had made the right choice. The only choice. Everything was back to normal now. No more questions bothered the young child for long months, until the arrival, one fine day, of a strange steel falcon, proudly carrying a red banner. But before that, Orultseg lived happily and joyfully every day. She could tell exciting stories at night with Kiarda, play long hours of hide-and-seek with Toll, exchange a few sweet shy glances with Zerelem, and even play cards alongside Dyphax. All this could only prove one thing. Deep in her heart, feeling every beat of love, she now only knew one thing.
All of this could only be real...
Is not it.... ?